Practical Ways to Develop Manners in Your Child

In Islam, nurturing good manners in our children is one of the most significant responsibilities we have as parents. It’s not just about teaching them how to behave in society but also about instilling Islamic values, compassion, and respect in their hearts. Masha'Allah, the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was the best example of good character, and we are blessed to have his teachings to guide us in raising our children. Below are practical ways to cultivate manners in your child that are rooted in Islamic teachings, inspired by everyday actions.

1. Greet Your Children with Salaam

When entering the house, make it a habit to greet your children with Salaam and kisses. This small but profound gesture helps develop a sense of love, mercy, and connection in your household. By starting interactions with “Assalamu Alaikum,” you’re not only fulfilling a Sunnah but also reminding your children of the importance of spreading peace. Masha'Allah, children raised in homes filled with salaam will naturally extend this warmth to others.

2. Be Kind to Your Neighbours and Avoid Gossip

The Prophet (ﷺ) placed great emphasis on treating neighbours well. When you model kindness to your neighbours and refrain from gossiping—whether it's about neighbours or anyone else—your children will notice. Even small comments, like complaining about another driver on the road, can leave a lasting impression. Remember, your children listen, absorb, and emulate your behaviour. Speaking well of others and maintaining good relationships with neighbours teaches them the value of kindness and discretion.

3. Encourage Your Children to Speak to Their Grandparents

When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them, even if just for a few moments. This helps build a strong family bond and teaches them the importance of respecting and honouring their elders. In Islam, being good to one’s parents is a great virtue, and involving children in these moments can plant seeds of love and respect for family, which is central to our faith.

4. Take Them Along When Visiting Your Parents

Children learn by observing. When they see you taking care of your parents, they will learn the importance of this act of devotion. Take your children with you when visiting your parents, allowing them to witness the care and respect you show to your elders. This will, in turn, teach them the value of looking after you as they grow older, creating a cycle of care and love.

5. Share Stories Instead of Just Audio

When driving your children to school or elsewhere, consider engaging them in meaningful conversations instead of always playing audio stories or the Qur’an. While Islamic audios are beneficial, personal storytelling and Qur’an recitation can have a more profound impact. Masha'Allah, your voice and presence will resonate more with them, creating moments of bonding and learning.

6. Read a Short Hadith Each Day

One of the simplest yet most effective ways to instil good manners is by reading a short Hadith with your children daily. It doesn’t take much time, but these moments are invaluable in creating strong bonds and imparting Islamic values. These brief teachings of the Prophet (ﷺ) offer profound wisdom that helps children reflect on their behaviour and actions.

7. Emphasise Cleanliness

Cleanliness is half of faith, and teaching your children to comb their hair, brush their teeth, and wear presentable clothes, even when staying at home, helps instil this important concept. Masha'Allah, children need to understand that cleanliness is not just for going out, but it’s a part of our daily practice as Muslims.

8. Overlook Small Mistakes

Try not to comment or criticise every small mistake or action. Learning to overlook minor mishaps and letting go at times will help build your child’s self-confidence. Constant criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy, while overlooking small mistakes allows them the space to grow and improve. Masha'Allah, our faith encourages patience, and this approach will help create a more positive environment for them.

9. Respect Their Privacy

Before entering your child’s room, ask for permission. This teaches them the importance of boundaries and respect. By modelling this behaviour, they will learn to do the same when entering your room or others’ spaces.

10. Apologise When You Make a Mistake

It’s important to show children that everyone makes mistakes, including parents. When you apologise to your child, it teaches them humility and encourages them to be polite and honest about their own errors. This fosters mutual respect and helps build a loving, trusting relationship.

Developing Islamic manners in our children is a continuous process. It requires patience, consistency, and positive reinforcement. By incorporating these practical tips into their daily lives and providing them with a nurturing environment, we can help our children grow into individuals with strong Islamic values and good character, insha’Allah.